Ask the Robinson's

We are a thirty something couple who've been together for 12yrs, have 2 kids and have a fantastic marriage. We started this blog because we don't know any other couple who is as happy and connected as we are and we want to help them and you. People are always telling us their personal woes, and we believe that if you follow our advice regarding your relationship - whether married, single, gay or straight - your relationships with people in general WILL improve.

Do you tell eachother how many partners you've had?


Here's the big key to our relationship...we are ridiculously honest with one another. I told him how many men I've been with (6) and he told me that he couldn't even begin to count how many women he'd been with.

Why do people insist on keeping this a secret? We believe that some people are embarassed by either their too high or too low numbers and are worried about judgement from their partner. Others think that this really is a private thing and think it is a taboo subject to discuss. Why not just tell? Honestly, don't you think that telling something like this brings you closer together with the right person. You will find out right away if you are with a jealous, control freak by their response. Do you want to be with someone like this long term or would you rather spend your life with someone you can tell your deepest thought and secrets to? I want to be with someone who I can be totally honest with. Why would I want to spend my life with someone who I have to keep secrets from or tell half-truths to? I think that keeping these kinds of secrets can be a reason for matrimonial dischord years down the line.

Why do people get jealous of the men or women in their partners lives prior to even knowing them? It is your partners insecurity at the heart of this matter. If your partner is jealous he/she is worried that he might not live up to your best lover. I know that my hubby has been with some psychos who have been great in the sack...this is a fact. Am I raunchy like, but do I get the job done...yup, and I offer an entire package. People need to stop comparing themselves to past partners. The only time to worry about this is if your partner is the one comparing you to their past loves...this needs to stop...if it doesn't then you need to look elsewhere or they will drive your insecurities throught the roof and of no real interest to them anymore anyway. **Quick Story*** This has happened more than once but here is my favorite story Mr. Robinson and I running into someone he previously banged: We were on vacation in California, just the two of us, about 10yrs ago. We went to Universal Studios and one of the tour areas had those lines where they go have you walk through a 'line maze' until you get to the end and enter the tour. Well, every time we came to the middle of each line segment my Mr. Robinson thought that the Woman one line over looked familiar. He mentioned that she looked familiar and I asked, in a fun way, if she was someone that he'd been with before. All of a sudden recognition entered his face, he smiled and proceeded to tell me about how they met. He was 21, in Reno with his mom and grandma (of course) and saw her enter her room directly across from him. He thought she was cute and decided to hit on her. Next time he saw her he asked if she had a phone book in her room as his was missing...this started their dialogue and basically he was "with" her for a couple of days. Back in line you could tell that she recognized him too but she was with a guy and it didn't look like she was telling him the story Mr. Robinson had just told me. We had a great laugh about the whole thing and had a fun tour.

Most couples don't seem to really talk about things like this and if they do it doesn't end with a fun tour. Our advice to you is to open up, share this part of yourself and be open to your partners history. Again, this is "history" not present. Remember, they are with you now so make the most of it!

Mrs. Robinson