Ask the Robinson's

We are a thirty something couple who've been together for 12yrs, have 2 kids and have a fantastic marriage. We started this blog because we don't know any other couple who is as happy and connected as we are and we want to help them and you. People are always telling us their personal woes, and we believe that if you follow our advice regarding your relationship - whether married, single, gay or straight - your relationships with people in general WILL improve.

Fighting Fair

Have you ever been in a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse or even friend and said something mean and hurtful that you wish you could take back? Has anyone ever done this to you?

I can tell you, from experience, that fighting fair is essential with any relationship you have whether platonic or romantic.

1. Calling her a "bitch", "crazy bitch", calling him "stupid", an "asshole", etc...
2. Belittling them, i.e., making fun of or criticizing something about their personality or something physical such as the size of particular body parts...
3. Leaving in a huff, slamming the door and driving off while not answering your cell to tell where you are going

1. Saying that they are acting crazy but not calling them crazy
2. Don't raise your hard to do this. If you want to maintain your relationship then please try not to "pick" at one another.
3. Tell the person you're arguing with that you need to step out of the room for a minute to calm down but that you'll be back shortly - this give you both time to think and breathe.

Also, a big key is to NOT bring up something you are irritated about when the person you are irritated with is in a bad mood or when you are in a mood. Try and bring it up when you are both calm and in a good mood. When one of you is in a bad mood what could have been a good, relationship strengthening conversation is now a full out fight.

If you are upset by something the other person said to you then start off in the following way:
*I'm sure you didn't realize it because I know how much you care about me but, when you said BLANK, it hurt my feelings.

If you come across in this manner you will have a much better chance at resolving the issue as well as building better communication skills with this person. Of course, you cannot expect this to work for every situation as some people are just not good at communication however you try and approach them. Our advice to you with someone like this is to drop em. Why do you want someone in your life who doesn't care enough about you to listen thoughtfully and try to better your relationship!